








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,931 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1661 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1180 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1503 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 587 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,244 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Macky | 68% | 53 |
| #6 | FusionZz | 65% | 20 |
| #7 | BicRic87 | 60% | 15 |
| #8 | Salted Peanuts | 57% | 14 |
| #9 | Qroniic | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qroniic | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Macky | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | FusionZz | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Salted Peanuts | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Lewis | 2 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qroniic | 117 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Macky | 61 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Salted Peanuts | 28 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | L A KNIGHT YEAAH | 24 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | FusionZz | 22 | 0.06 | 0 min |





