








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1241 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 173 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




188 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8588 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8945 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 13956 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 7224 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,863,210 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k♌♡Ֆ | 56% | 81 |
| #2 | Perro Sanchez | 51% | 413 |
| #3 | k0nesy | 50% | 216 |
| #4 | biturbo | 49% | 140 |
| #5 | R0M3 | 44% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k♌♡Ֆ | 56% | 81 |
| #2 | Perro Sanchez | 51% | 413 |
| #3 | k0nesy | 50% | 216 |
| #4 | biturbo | 49% | 140 |
| #5 | R0M3 | 44% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perro Sanchez | 32 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | k0nesy | 28 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | k♌♡Ֆ | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | biturbo | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | R0M3 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0nesy | 384 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | biturbo | 374 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Perro Sanchez | 323 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #4 | k♌♡Ֆ | 175 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | R0M3 | 125 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k♌♡Ֆ | +1.92 | 77 | 47 |
| #2 | Desataoo | +1.11 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | k0nesy | +0.74 | 70 | 48 |
| #4 | R0M3 | +0.51 | 89 | 50 |
| #5 | Perro Sanchez | +0.02 | 52 | 58 |





