








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4107 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3291 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3437 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2177 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,492 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a7om1k | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | zec | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐦𝐞 | 24% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a7om1k | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | zec | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐦𝐞 | 24% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zec | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐦𝐞 | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐦𝐞 | 133 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | zec | 79 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | a7om1k | 54 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a7om1k | +4.90 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | schrei | +1.82 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | zec | -1.48 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐦𝐞 | -4.94 | 44 | 55 |





