










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 757 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2902 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2454 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1932 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,633,047 of utility $327 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaisent | 63% | 196 |
| #2 | ÜnRat1onaL | 63% | 117 |
| #3 | Cebra Desnutrida | 63% | 108 |
| #4 | El Salmonete | 59% | 107 |
| #5 | Mrsundae$$$ | 57% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cebra Desnutrida | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | vaisent | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | El Salmonete | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ÜnRat1onaL | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ƈҽʂι Ⴆαɳȥαι | 4 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cebra Desnutrida | 722 | 0.32 | 17 min |
| #2 | vaisent | 675 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Mrsundae$$$ | 496 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | El Salmonete | 327 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | ÜnRat1onaL | 325 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Salmonete | +2.15 | 49 | 63 |
| #2 | Pedrito Navaja | +1.61 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | vaisent | +0.96 | 41 | 62 |
| #4 | Cebra Desnutrida | +0.15 | 40 | 58 |
| #5 | ÜnRat1onaL | +0.10 | 42 | 55 |





