








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Esplay | 12 matches | 1,400 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2215 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1399 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1094 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $826,106 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk | 52% | 143 |
| #2 | pj | 52% | 84 |
| #3 | Palmb0men | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | ꧁♥𝗞𝓮𝑛𝚉𝟬♥꧂ | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk | 52% | 143 |
| #2 | pj | 52% | 84 |
| #3 | Palmb0men | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | ꧁♥𝗞𝓮𝑛𝚉𝟬♥꧂ | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk | 23 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | pj | 21 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | ꧁♥𝗞𝓮𝑛𝚉𝟬♥꧂ | 7 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Palmb0men | 4 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hulk | 335 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | pj | 325 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Palmb0men | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | ꧁♥𝗞𝓮𝑛𝚉𝟬♥꧂ | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pj | +4.09 | 73 | 49 |
| #2 | Hulk | +3.46 | 65 | 52 |
| #3 | ꧁♥𝗞𝓮𝑛𝚉𝟬♥꧂ | +2.22 | 83 | 27 |
| #4 | Palmb0men | -0.32 | 39 | 61 |
| #5 | tin tin | -2.48 | 55 | 46 |





