








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 879 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 575 matches | ||
| Wingman | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3578 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2419 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1679 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2136 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,400 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KneLe | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | ポルノスター CS.ARMY | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | Señor. jS | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | K4m!K4zaa!! | 48% | 69 |
| #5 | AstralPenguin | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RSboK1;) | +1.82 | 59 | 39 |
| #2 | Fatal1ty™ | +0.97 | 68 | 39 |
| #3 | ポルノスター CS.ARMY | +0.39 | 85 | 55 |
| #4 | Señor. jS | +0.13 | 50 | 51 |
| #5 | bokimadjija | -0.09 | 68 | 57 |





