








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1168 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2339 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2003 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 717 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,014,370 of utility $252 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1828 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booyou | 51% | 120 |
| #2 | Monacoh | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | MeleRIP | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | Kovu | 47% | 196 |
| #5 | Skipper | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booyou | 51% | 120 |
| #2 | Monacoh | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | MeleRIP | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | Kovu | 47% | 196 |
| #5 | Skipper | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kovu | 25 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Booyou | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Skipper | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | MeleRIP | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Monacoh | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booyou | 162 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Skipper | 115 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kovu | 101 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Monacoh | 56 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | MeleRIP | 24 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeleRIP | +1.92 | 62 | 49 |
| #2 | Kovu | +1.06 | 63 | 38 |
| #3 | t rev | +0.23 | 69 | 41 |
| #4 | Booyou | -0.18 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | Monacoh | -1.79 | 54 | 50 |





