










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 379 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3569 | 46% |
| Smokes | 546 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 2837 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 826 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,479,808 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noita | 55% | 120 |
| #2 | Makarooni | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | Työstäjä 3000 | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | Hullupena | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noita | 55% | 120 |
| #2 | Makarooni | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | Työstäjä 3000 | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | Hullupena | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hullupena | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | noita | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Työstäjä 3000 | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Makarooni | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Työstäjä 3000 | 216 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | noita | 198 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hullupena | 115 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Makarooni | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Makarooni | +3.27 | 62 | 31 |
| #2 | noita | +2.74 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Hullupena | +1.08 | 69 | 50 |
| #4 | Poikapajois | -0.38 | 18 | 40 |
| #5 | Työstäjä 3000 | -1.85 | 25 | 50 |





