








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4836 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6531 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3601 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3255 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,568,714 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 600 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ex | 12 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Quinaπ | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Eren | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | GEN3R47 | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | π£ππ¨π£ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GEN3R47 | 178 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Eren | 122 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Quinaπ | 107 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | π£ππ¨π£ | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ex | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |





