








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8944 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9510 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6593 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5028 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,324 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikolaj_Stimose | 21 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Daddy | 20 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Tubs | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Chef Philip aka master Philip | 14 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Mr_H4mm3r | 13 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikolaj_Stimose | 729 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Daddy | 305 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bjergsø | 297 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tubs | 214 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Chef Philip aka master Philip | 199 | 0.13 | 5 min |





