








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 777 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1232 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 802 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $571,895 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorwayNIKZ | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Morra di er mann... | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | osq | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Rinne | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Foski | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foski | 9 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | NorwayNIKZ | 4 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | Sloomy | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Morra di er mann... | 3 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | Rinne | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloomy | 133 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Foski | 105 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rinne | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | NorwayNIKZ | 35 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | exi | 23 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exi | +2.66 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | osq | +1.44 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | Doblerto | +1.31 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | Foski | +1.07 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Sloomy | +0.85 | 78 | 62 |





