










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 946 | 30% |
| Smokes | 731 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 619 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $710,304 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seppo Räty | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | klitoris | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | ile WHEN? | 41% | 56 |
| #4 | ggkezz | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | vallu1 | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ile WHEN? | 41% | 56 |
| #4 | ggkezz | 39% | 18 |
| #5 | vallu1 | 38% | 60 |
| #6 | empsukkaaa | 37% | 76 |
| #7 | LARIPUS | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klitoris | 10 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | vallu1 | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Seppo Räty | 4 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | empsukkaaa | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ggkezz | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ile WHEN? | 144 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | klitoris | 134 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | vallu1 | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | empsukkaaa | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Seppo Räty | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klitoris | +8.52 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | ggkezz | +4.03 | 23 | 34 |
| #3 | empsukkaaa | +0.10 | 56 | 48 |
| #4 | Seppo Räty | -0.26 | 20 | 47 |
| #5 | LARIPUS | -1.38 | 17 | 22 |





