








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2954 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2422 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2787 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2881 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,927 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaquu1 | 54% | 71 |
| #2 | KeloKe | 52% | 82 |
| #3 | kaqu | 43% | 44 |
| #4 | °°°°Bere°°°° | 37% | 52 |
| #5 | TomP33K | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaquu1 | 54% | 71 |
| #2 | KeloKe | 52% | 82 |
| #3 | kaqu | 43% | 44 |
| #4 | °°°°Bere°°°° | 37% | 52 |
| #5 | TomP33K | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | °°°°Bere°°°° | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | KeloKe | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | kaquu1 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | kaqu | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | TomP33K | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaquu1 | 223 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | °°°°Bere°°°° | 214 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | KeloKe | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | kaqu | 130 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | TomP33K | 61 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolf | +0.59 | 49 | 67 |
| #2 | KeloKe | +0.09 | 48 | 69 |
| #3 | kaqu | -0.37 | 34 | 73 |
| #4 | kaquu1 | -0.89 | 35 | 70 |
| #5 | TomP33K | -1.46 | 54 | 66 |





