








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2680 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1842 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1969 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2404 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,467 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Synxronize | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | bobby fresh | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Tacco ヅ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | k0nt3nt | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | aimhaus markijs II | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tacco ヅ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | k0nt3nt | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | aimhaus markijs II | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | ◤Pikสcђบบ◢ | 53% | 120 |
| #7 | Nacho ツ | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◤Pikสcђบบ◢ | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | k0nt3nt | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Synxronize | 5 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Nacho ツ | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | bobby fresh | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◤Pikสcђบบ◢ | 261 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | k0nt3nt | 151 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tacco ヅ | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Synxronize | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | aimhaus markijs II | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◤Pikสcђบบ◢ | +4.59 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | k0nt3nt | +4.00 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | Synxronize | +3.54 | 72 | 48 |
| #4 | Nacho ツ | +1.15 | 50 | 28 |
| #5 | Tacco ヅ | +0.52 | 37 | 61 |





