








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2586 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1583 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1924 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 47 | 1% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,693,074 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bud.and.Beagle | 54% | 61 |
| #2 | づQQ⚆づ✂ ⋃ | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | MAIBAOZI | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | zAustralis | 42% | 66 |
| #5 | Señor Perry™♿ | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bud.and.Beagle | 54% | 61 |
| #2 | づQQ⚆づ✂ ⋃ | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | MAIBAOZI | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | zAustralis | 42% | 66 |
| #5 | Señor Perry™♿ | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | づQQ⚆づ✂ ⋃ | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Señor Perry™♿ | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | zAustralis | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | MAIBAOZI | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Bud.and.Beagle | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bud.and.Beagle | 248 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Señor Perry™♿ | 185 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | づQQ⚆づ✂ ⋃ | 146 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | MAIBAOZI | 115 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | zAustralis | 108 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrassJellyLongan | +2.30 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | Señor Perry™♿ | +1.30 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | づQQ⚆づ✂ ⋃ | -1.02 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | zAustralis | -1.77 | 45 | 63 |
| #5 | Bud.and.Beagle | -2.18 | 31 | 72 |





