








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 958 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1096 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1005 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,300 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark Rhodes | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | PiranhaPaul | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | leborn jame | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | IAmHokage | 37% | 62 |
| #5 | Wrightsocks | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark Rhodes | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | PiranhaPaul | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | leborn jame | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | IAmHokage | 37% | 62 |
| #5 | Wrightsocks | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mark Rhodes | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | IAmHokage | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | PiranhaPaul | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Wrightsocks | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | leborn jame | 3 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IAmHokage | 207 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mark Rhodes | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | PiranhaPaul | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wrightsocks | 27 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | leborn jame | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiranhaPaul | +2.94 | 52 | 46 |
| #2 | Mark Rhodes | +1.48 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | IAmHokage | +0.43 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | leborn jame | -0.17 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | Wrightsocks | -1.12 | 29 | 55 |





