








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 791 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Wingman | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3462 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2112 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2230 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2717 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,375 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3649 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vympyz | 83% | 70 |
| #2 | Kracked | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | 𝓓𝓮𝓿𝓸 | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | Nilla | 43% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vympyz | 83% | 70 |
| #2 | Kracked | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | 𝓓𝓮𝓿𝓸 | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | Nilla | 43% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kracked | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Vympyz | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Nilla | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | 𝓓𝓮𝓿𝓸 | 4 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kracked | 114 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nilla | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | 𝓓𝓮𝓿𝓸 | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vympyz | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0k | +3.37 | 80 | 42 |
| #2 | 𝓓𝓮𝓿𝓸 | -1.03 | 49 | 43 |
| #3 | Nilla | -1.97 | 33 | 27 |
| #4 | Vympyz | -2.18 | 70 | 14 |
| #5 | Kracked | -2.35 | 18 | 29 |





