








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 698 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10555 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7433 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7168 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6334 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,113,768 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | -yuno ♥ | 57% | 65 |
| #3 | Orange | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | Majestic | 47% | 174 |
| #5 | Mintee | 41% | 164 |
| #6 | Random95 | 34% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majestic | 763 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | -yuno ♥ | 395 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #3 | Random95 | 386 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Orange | 274 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mintee | 162 | 0.05 | 4 min |





