








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 375 | 20% |
| Smokes | 685 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 457 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 396 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,902 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | kemikaali keijo | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | Ladis Washerum | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | Moildels | 35% | 26 |
| #6 | 9/11 Was CT Sided | 28% | 18 |
| #7 | goldenbooty96 | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 148kg Rasse | 32 | 0.0289 |
| #2 | 9/11 Was CT Sided | 8 | 0.0232 |
| #3 | Moildels | 6 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | Ladis Washerum | 4 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | kemikaali keijo | 2 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 148kg Rasse | 207 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Moildels | 74 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | 9/11 Was CT Sided | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | goldenbooty96 | 19 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Ladis Washerum | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moildels | +4.23 | 79 | 44 |
| #2 | goldenbooty96 | +1.26 | 48 | 72 |
| #3 | 148kg Rasse | +0.91 | 51 | 43 |
| #4 | Eikkaa21 | +0.54 | 48 | 29 |
| #5 | kemikaali keijo | -1.85 | 41 | 32 |





