








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 738 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5710 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8188 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4597 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 8276 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,431,821 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1gBoss •ᴗ• | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | Ryan26 | 62% | 99 |
| #3 | rain | 60% | 141 |
| #4 | R1ngo | 58% | 57 |
| #5 | JesusShuttersworth | 57% | 58 |





