








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1258 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1006 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1243 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,544 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1059 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jinxy | 44% | 27 |
| #2 | emotionally damaged | 42% | 36 |
| #3 | Dante | 38% | 37 |
| #4 | Vergil | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jinxy | 44% | 27 |
| #2 | emotionally damaged | 42% | 36 |
| #3 | Dante | 38% | 37 |
| #4 | Vergil | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dante | 11 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Vergil | 9 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | emotionally damaged | 8 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Jinxy | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vergil | 163 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dante | 161 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | emotionally damaged | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jinxy | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emotionally damaged | +1.60 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | Vergil | +1.48 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Hu Tao please beat me | -0.36 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | Dante | -1.91 | 51 | 56 |
| #5 | Jinxy | -3.55 | 53 | 19 |





