








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 25% |
| Smokes | 538 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 939 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 411 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,637 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kikoG | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | osku | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | eetu | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Leksa | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Jusshi | 47% | 30 |
| #12 | Maurito Uolevi | 45% | 33 |
| #13 | stormi | 42% | 33 |
| #14 | Taskurotta | 40% | 15 |
| #15 | nigni | 38% | 8 |





