








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1911 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1346 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2616 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2298 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,241,810 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1046 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ZwibelChris | 57% | 47 |
| #7 | ✈ Cpt. TokoLoco ✪ | 50% | 48 |
| #8 | RTP♿ Gordy | 49% | 70 |
| #9 | ☁︎ Hoodie | 47% | 102 |
| #10 | Workflow | 47% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RTP♿ Gordy | 256 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Todo | 214 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✈ Cpt. TokoLoco ✪ | 167 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | ZwibelChris | 147 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Workflow | 132 | 0.07 | 3 min |





