








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1093 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1549 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 855 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1843 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,420 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiamC007 | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Scrubz | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | Faze_kermit | 47% | 107 |
| #4 | shu 。(^O^)ゞ | 31% | 26 |
| #5 | Haineko 灰猫 | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiamC007 | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | Scrubz | 50% | 28 |
| #3 | Faze_kermit | 47% | 107 |
| #4 | shu 。(^O^)ゞ | 31% | 26 |
| #5 | Haineko 灰猫 | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faze_kermit | 21 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | LiamC007 | 5 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | shu 。(^O^)ゞ | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Scrubz | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Haineko 灰猫 | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faze_kermit | 140 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | shu 。(^O^)ゞ | 86 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Haineko 灰猫 | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | LiamC007 | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Scrubz | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiamC007 | +0.13 | 12 | 47 |
| #2 | shu 。(^O^)ゞ | +0.04 | 60 | 61 |
| #3 | Scrubz | -0.28 | 20 | 29 |
| #4 | Potlood | -0.78 | 60 | 36 |
| #5 | Haineko 灰猫 | -2.38 | 28 | 51 |





