








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1082 | 54% |
| Smokes | 612 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 148 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 160 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,208 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 897 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shybat | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | UWU | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Sang | 71% | 17 |
| #4 | 『Luna』 | 71% | 34 |
| #5 | 𒆜井ノ上 たきな𒆜 | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『Luna』 | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Sang | 5 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Nsn | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | oldFAT | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Pinkyyyy | 2 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nsn | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Sang | 56 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | oldFAT | 49 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | SCipher | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | 『Luna』 | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinkyyyy | +6.90 | 96 | 66 |
| #2 | 『Luna』 | +5.46 | 94 | 59 |
| #3 | Sang | +4.94 | 92 | 63 |
| #4 | shybat | +3.73 | 89 | 22 |
| #5 | SCipher | +1.94 | 88 | 48 |





