








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3568 | 49% |
| Smokes | 1067 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1777 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,057,335 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hampekr | 56% | 89 |
| #2 | (: SM1L3 :) | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | ♋Monke♋ | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | Mr_Krugerr | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | Haschan | 47% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hampekr | 56% | 89 |
| #2 | (: SM1L3 :) | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | ♋Monke♋ | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | Mr_Krugerr | 47% | 53 |
| #5 | Haschan | 47% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♋Monke♋ | 26 | 0.0254 |
| #2 | Haschan | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Hampekr | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Mr_Krugerr | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | (: SM1L3 :) | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♋Monke♋ | 328 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #2 | Hampekr | 271 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Haschan | 169 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mr_Krugerr | 153 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | (: SM1L3 :) | 132 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hampekr | +4.76 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | (: SM1L3 :) | +4.27 | 62 | 73 |
| #3 | Stopksme | +0.22 | 56 | 43 |
| #4 | Mr_Krugerr | -1.20 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | Haschan | -2.42 | 29 | 42 |





