








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
44 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18 | 51% |
| Smokes | 5 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 8 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $18,000 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | migy | 0% | 2 |
| #2 | brain lag | 0% | 4 |
| #3 | ANormalFish | 0% | 5 |
| #4 | UNLuckiest Man to Exist | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | migy | 0% | 2 |
| #2 | brain lag | 0% | 4 |
| #3 | ANormalFish | 0% | 5 |
| #4 | UNLuckiest Man to Exist | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNLuckiest Man to Exist | 1 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ANormalFish | 1 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ANormalFish | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smart fortwo 2014 peek | -0.73 | 65 | 15 |
| #2 | migy | -2.52 | 38 | 9 |
| #3 | ANormalFish | -3.28 | 29 | 17 |
| #4 | UNLuckiest Man to Exist | -3.53 | 62 | 17 |
| #5 | brain lag | -5.25 | 6 | 45 |





