








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3909 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4825 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2547 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3541 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,231,046 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alliance | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | X.O | 53% | 73 |
| #3 | Toxic | 53% | 147 |
| #4 | Truck driver | 53% | 181 |
| #5 | BOB_MARLEEN | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alliance | 55% | 44 |
| #2 | X.O | 53% | 73 |
| #3 | Toxic | 53% | 147 |
| #4 | Truck driver | 53% | 181 |
| #5 | BOB_MARLEEN | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Truck driver | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Toxic | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Alliance | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | X.O | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | BOB_MARLEEN | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Truck driver | 461 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Toxic | 295 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Alliance | 107 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | X.O | 61 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | BOB_MARLEEN | 61 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic | +1.57 | 57 | 57 |
| #2 | Truck driver | +0.98 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | Jason | +0.84 | 56 | 60 |
| #4 | Alliance | +0.22 | 70 | 51 |
| #5 | X.O | -3.82 | 23 | 26 |





