








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 477 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




210 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12309 | 38% |
| Smokes | 8453 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6494 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4732 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,896,454 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1030 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yayhe | 53% | 76 |
| #2 | smelly monke | 52% | 276 |
| #3 | BigJuicy | 52% | 162 |
| #4 | Osodank | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | Porky Porky No Mi | 49% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moron | 115 | 0.0264 |
| #2 | smelly monke | 24 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Joe Rundown | 23 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Porky Porky No Mi | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | BigJuicy | 8 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smelly monke | 908 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | Joe Rundown | 803 | 0.29 | 25 min |
| #3 | moron | 741 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | BigJuicy | 356 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Porky Porky No Mi | 285 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smelly monke | +4.45 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | Osodank | +3.19 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | Bean | +2.30 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Porky Porky No Mi | -0.39 | 68 | 39 |
| #5 | Yayhe | -1.31 | 51 | 69 |





