








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 366 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 214 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3576 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3521 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 6432 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5372 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,024,120 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ 𝖲 𝖳 𝖬 𝖭 𝖳 ♛ | 82% | 39 |
| #2 | b l u e . e y e :] | 66% | 152 |
| #3 | ャHaikony0ャ | 49% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ 𝖲 𝖳 𝖬 𝖭 𝖳 ♛ | 82% | 39 |
| #2 | b l u e . e y e :] | 66% | 152 |
| #3 | ャHaikony0ャ | 49% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ャHaikony0ャ | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | b l u e . e y e :] | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ♛ 𝖲 𝖳 𝖬 𝖭 𝖳 ♛ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ャHaikony0ャ | 319 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | b l u e . e y e :] | 166 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | ♛ 𝖲 𝖳 𝖬 𝖭 𝖳 ♛ | 17 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ 𝖲 𝖳 𝖬 𝖭 𝖳 ♛ | +4.74 | 99 | 33 |
| #2 | LouiVuis | +2.85 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | ャHaikony0ャ | +0.78 | 90 | 66 |
| #4 | b l u e . e y e :] | -0.22 | 87 | 47 |





