










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 247 | 32% |
| Smokes | 189 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 222 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 111 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,540 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captaincrisp69 | 49% | 41 |
| #2 | MysticK | 42% | 48 |
| #3 | אשר | 41% | 41 |
| #4 | evan | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captaincrisp69 | 49% | 41 |
| #2 | MysticK | 42% | 48 |
| #3 | אשר | 41% | 41 |
| #4 | evan | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | אשר | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | MysticK | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | captaincrisp69 | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | evan | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MysticK | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | אשר | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | captaincrisp69 | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | evan | 40 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | captaincrisp69 | +2.63 | 75 | 55 |
| #2 | אשר | +1.61 | 78 | 41 |
| #3 | MysticK | -0.86 | 66 | 50 |
| #4 | evan | -1.04 | 69 | 52 |
| #5 | invxde | -2.94 | 56 | 32 |





