








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 905 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1193 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 861 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 830 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,844 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clyde_IoF | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | LiLMaN | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | papa big shid | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | Stinky Rat | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | ndunnett | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clyde_IoF | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | LiLMaN | 47% | 36 |
| #3 | papa big shid | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | Stinky Rat | 31% | 13 |
| #5 | ndunnett | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinky Rat | 3 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | papa big shid | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiLMaN | 206 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #2 | Stinky Rat | 28 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | papa big shid | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Clyde_IoF | 21 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ndunnett | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiLMaN | +4.66 | 87 | 76 |
| #2 | FOB | +1.78 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | Clyde_IoF | -0.30 | 48 | 75 |
| #4 | ndunnett | -0.40 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | Stinky Rat | -1.93 | 81 | 66 |





