








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8588 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7514 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5031 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2345 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,199,475 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Xtrikerking101 | 45% | 123 |
| #4 | meggaroni | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | laurensforeign #HBK! | 41% | 51 |
| #6 | Nova | 32% | 91 |
| #7 | ♡kittykat♡ | 31% | 70 |





