








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1018 | 25% |
| Smokes | 785 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1273 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $302,729 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Georg | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Haluan Seksiä | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Kaur | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Madis Tamuni | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | Imbicil | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jarno Mirma | 47% | 59 |
| #9 | DJ ninakoll | 46% | 26 |
| #10 | Sl0pye | 46% | 59 |
| #11 | Science | 38% | 63 |
| #12 | Tarmo Vaskpuhkpill | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sl0pye | 33 | 0.0279 |
| #2 | Jarno Mirma | 18 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | Science | 16 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | leivaisa | 12 | 0.0379 |
| #5 | Cl3ctus | 10 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Science | 142 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jarno Mirma | 113 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cl3ctus | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Imbicil | 67 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Georg | 60 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leivaisa | +4.03 | 56 | 44 |
| #2 | Haluan Seksiä | +2.47 | 43 | 33 |
| #3 | Georg | +2.10 | 51 | 55 |
| #4 | Science | +1.98 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Cl3ctus | +0.91 | 55 | 59 |





