








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3347 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3454 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3508 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2816 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $824,316 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Inquisitor | 48% | 379 |
| #5 | 🂡DybberLADEMAD | 46% | 191 |
| #6 | Stefanovitch | 44% | 32 |
| #7 | jonasb1357 | 40% | 98 |
| #8 | [AVG]TISM PEEK | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🂡DybberLADEMAD | 576 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | JEG ELSKER ninja SKILDPADDER | 353 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | RageDogDS | 262 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Inquisitor | 156 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | jonasb1357 | 97 | 0.05 | 1 min |





