








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 433 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5037 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5928 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6634 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3037 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4735 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,696,400 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natkhat | 60% | 105 |
| #2 | Fatetal!ty ;P | 59% | 73 |
| #3 | Sho | 57% | 168 |
| #4 | muslim messi peak | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | bNNas | 56% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bNNas | 552 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | retired Fur | 514 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Swhoosh | 443 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Ra. | 401 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | Sho | 394 | 0.11 | 11 min |





