








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1254 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1041 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 687 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,029 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TSS_BOTNICK | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | ₍^. .^₎⟆ | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 NIGO♿ | 43% | 30 |
| #4 | $und | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | Fentanyl Frank | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEO | 6 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 NIGO♿ | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | zallax<3 | 3 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | $und | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Fentanyl Frank | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $und | 127 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fentanyl Frank | 58 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | ₍^. .^₎⟆ | 57 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | CEO | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | TSS_BOTNICK | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ₍^. .^₎⟆ | +4.70 | 74 | 53 |
| #2 | TSS_BOTNICK | +3.44 | 80 | 34 |
| #3 | $und | +3.22 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | CEO | +2.08 | 48 | 40 |
| #5 | Fentanyl Frank | +1.45 | 44 | 61 |





