








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 687 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1788 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1958 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1262 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,793 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kuro CS.PRO | 46% | 155 |
| #8 | Hanayuki | 43% | 65 |
| #9 | Xe tải chật ních ga | 41% | 117 |
| #10 | Trung•UwU | 41% | 32 |
| #11 | 高梨 ホシノ | 40% | 48 |





