








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 816 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 264 matches | 1,628 | |
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 29 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3678 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3002 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1900 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3337 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,255,746 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 672 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeeklyVillain | 49% | 167 |
| #2 | Nimra | 47% | 318 |
| #3 | Sofi3N | 47% | 119 |
| #4 | HappyEnding | 47% | 205 |
| #5 | ᴘᴜssʏᴘᴡʀ ʀᴏɴᴊᴀ | 44% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HappyEnding | 438 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | WeeklyVillain | 433 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | b4tman | 312 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nimra | 175 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sofi3N | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |





