








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,238 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1002 | 31% |
| Smokes | 868 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 594 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 774 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,201 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpicyWolfie | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | thekingrenz | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | deeenerss | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | sunn | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | An4rchy | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | 27 knots | 59% | 22 |
| #14 | copiN | 59% | 17 |
| #15 | M | 50% | 6 |
| #16 | THEB1GDOGZ | 50% | 8 |
| #17 | joy lobo | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | copiN | 7 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | bpv | 2 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | jlkfnatic | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | EnfieLd | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Rivz ✟ | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ochadoankk | 184 | 0.41 | 5 min |
| #2 | jlkfnatic | 145 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #3 | copiN | 71 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | SpicyWolfie | 60 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | 27 knots | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | An4rchy | +6.01 | 97 | 53 |
| #2 | SpicyWolfie | +3.61 | 89 | 86 |
| #3 | sunn | +3.21 | 93 | 16 |
| #4 | thekingrenz | +2.05 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | EnfieLd | +1.75 | 76 | 76 |





