








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1074 | 25% |
| Smokes | 947 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1075 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1125 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,155 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | schmari | 68% | 34 |
| #7 | Solana | 66% | 29 |
| #8 | Bravado | 57% | 28 |
| #9 | flori | 27% | 15 |
| #10 | 春恵 | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 春恵 | 5 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | zazahiker | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | flori | 4 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | schmari | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | SucukNotHaram | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazahiker | 105 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | SucukNotHaram | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | schmari | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | flori | 39 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | 春恵 | 31 | 0.10 | 1 min |





