








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2357 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2313 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2304 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1965 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,366 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draco + 23 Chromosome | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | 𝟡𝟡𝟡 | 66% | 41 |
| #3 | slashay | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | pacific shawty | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draco + 23 Chromosome | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | 𝟡𝟡𝟡 | 66% | 41 |
| #3 | slashay | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | pacific shawty | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝟡𝟡𝟡 | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | pacific shawty | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Draco + 23 Chromosome | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝟡𝟡𝟡 | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | pacific shawty | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | slashay | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Draco + 23 Chromosome | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Draco + 23 Chromosome | +2.81 | 79 | 41 |
| #2 | s0nder | +0.90 | 60 | 59 |
| #3 | slashay | +0.35 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | 𝟡𝟡𝟡 | -0.65 | 62 | 49 |
| #5 | pacific shawty | -2.28 | 56 | 55 |





