








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1744 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 281 matches | ||
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3255 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3301 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3869 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4630 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,493,071 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vale | 59% | 189 |
| #2 | Fuckyourlife | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | 60hz Pavee69 | 53% | 141 |
| #4 | ♥𝐿𝒾𝒾𝓃𝒶♥ | 53% | 166 |
| #5 | pätkä | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vale | 52 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | Pave | 33 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | 60hz Pavee69 | 32 | 0.0128 |
| #4 | pätkä | 23 | 0.0188 |
| #5 | ♥𝐿𝒾𝒾𝓃𝒶♥ | 20 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pave | 556 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | 60hz Pavee69 | 497 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | ♥𝐿𝒾𝒾𝓃𝒶♥ | 486 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Vale | 208 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fuckyourlife | 183 | 0.12 | 4 min |





