








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3720 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2851 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 905 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1772 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $298,731 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | brainynoworky | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | Gojira | 41% | 34 |
| #14 | nspace | 41% | 44 |
| #15 | Eggsy | 35% | 26 |
| #16 | Bansi | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NazeuJ | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Eggsy | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Sike | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | nspace | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Zieke | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nspace | 185 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | HaTrEd | 178 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sike | 156 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝘒𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘭 | 150 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | NazeuJ | 136 | 0.08 | 3 min |





