








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4462 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3802 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2771 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3319 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,038 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoPe | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | babyfacƎ | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Den Kække Gris | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MoPe | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | babyfacƎ | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | Den Kække Gris | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | babyfacƎ | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Den Kække Gris | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Den Kække Gris | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | babyfacƎ | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | MoPe | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notcheater.com | +2.55 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | MoPe | -1.32 | 56 | 65 |
| #3 | babyfacƎ | -2.35 | 31 | 60 |
| #4 | Den Kække Gris | -2.53 | 44 | 61 |





