








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 785 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 581 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 892 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3357 | 51% |
| HE Grenades | 1128 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1196 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,049 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 722 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NORTHBOY | 274 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | Doctore el Gato | 240 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | [SHFT] Davepiti | 210 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dragon458GE | 119 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | 𝔚☠𝔯𝔪𝒵 | 75 | 0.03 | 2 min |





