








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 316 | 32% |
| Smokes | 364 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 128 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 189 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,782 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigward | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | accompts | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | mushy | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigward | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | accompts | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | mushy | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mushy | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | accompts | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Nigward | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mushy | 105 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | accompts | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | Nigward | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigward | +3.94 | 75 | 14 |
| #2 | mushy | -0.40 | 55 | 48 |
| #3 | skin walker | -2.49 | 27 | 34 |
| #4 | accompts | -2.54 | 49 | 20 |





