








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5418 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6114 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8312 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6640 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,779,007 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 12 fl oz | 47% | 181 |
| #5 | ShinyShores | 45% | 97 |
| #6 | AL_stair | 45% | 231 |
| #7 | Chalupa Batmang | 44% | 205 |
| #8 | NAMS G | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AL_stair | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | ShinyShores | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Chalupa Batmang | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Bambino | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | 12 fl oz | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 12 fl oz | 395 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | AL_stair | 294 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | NAMS G | 177 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Chalupa Batmang | 171 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | ShinyShores | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .JSON | +0.93 | 52 | 50 |
| #2 | 12 fl oz | +0.86 | 67 | 53 |
| #3 | Bambino | +0.74 | 48 | 51 |
| #4 | Chalupa Batmang | +0.13 | 54 | 56 |
| #5 | ShinyShores | -0.11 | 58 | 44 |





