










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1039 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4291 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4486 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4003 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4138 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $951,675 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valdos | 65% | 156 |
| #2 | Plague | 56% | 139 |
| #3 | Sjusk | 52% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valdos | 65% | 156 |
| #2 | Plague | 56% | 139 |
| #3 | Sjusk | 52% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valdos | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Sjusk | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Plague | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjusk | 346 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | valdos | 144 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Plague | 125 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valdos | +2.70 | 45 | 46 |
| #2 | Plague | +0.93 | 34 | 55 |
| #3 | Kimikalier | +0.92 | 43 | 61 |
| #4 | Sjusk | -2.91 | 5 | 57 |





