








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




206 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1276 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1266 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 770 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1383 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,544 of utility $17 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (✿◠_◠) | 125 | 0.0478 |
| #2 | <barnayl-skvad>꧁☆Gₒӄű⛓ | 79 | 0.0339 |
| #3 | ^ ^ | 41 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Zlux | 26 | 0.0199 |
| #5 | loya | 14 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^ ^ | 325 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | b1 | 274 | 0.38 | 6 min |
| #3 | <barnayl-skvad>꧁☆Gₒӄű⛓ | 259 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | (✿◠_◠) | 225 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | APEHDA_TTU3DbI | 161 | 0.13 | 4 min |





